Electronic Entertainment Expo, Los Angeles, CA
home from my 3rd E3 in as many years, I've come to the
conclusion that this mecca of gaming gurus is really mimicing
the object of its deification: E3 is a game. The object
of the E3 game is to survive intact and come out with
the most points. Points are distributed in the following
In the Game
From their official website: "E3 is a trade event
and is not open to the general public. No one under 18
will be admitted, including infants."
- Getting into E3 = 1 point
Hidden throughout the Los Angeles convention center
are various swag locations, different pieces of swag
give different points. Scoring is as follows:
- Paper based swag (stickers, magazines) = 1 point
- Swag not freely given = 2 points
- T-shirts = 10 points
- One page flyers = -1 point
This point system should only be applied if you are playing
the Multiplayer version of E3.
- Each beta account gained = 10 points.
- Points awarded here should be reviewed at a later date
when beta access (rather than promises of access) is confirmed.
- Free food = 5 points
- Buying convention center food = -10 points
Gaming Celebrity Sightings
It can't be E3 without the celebrities.
- Each Non Gaming Industry celebrity sighting = 1
- Picture of the Celebrity = 5 points
- Harassing said Celebrity = -10 points (I think it's
probably 10 years if you stalk them)
- Getting into limited access displays = 10 points
each time (forced entry does not count)
- Any attention received by E3 security during this phase
= -100 points
- Successful sneaked entry = 10 points
Babes (also known as Objects for Admiring)
Depending on what version of E3 you are playing you
can gain either negative or positive points for this
- Pictures with Booth Babes = 1 point for the E3
Carnal Delights version or -1 if you are playing
E3 Safe for the Home.
- Phone numbers from said Objects = 20 points one
way or the other.
It has come to my attention that there is always a huge
party to go to during E3.
- Getting into the official E3 party = 5 points
- Getting a VIP pass to official party = 10 points
- Getting a Pass to any "Real VIP" party (if
held and different from the official party) = 50 points
tally up your score.
You need help. E3 is not the stalkers ball
(-10) - (-1) Just avoid Kentia Hall if you can't resist
the 1 page flyers
1-10 Ok you got in, now you need to take advantage
of the game! Go read some spoiler sites
10-30 Good showing your first time out
30-50 Not too bad, grab a bit more swag next time
and you'll be right up there
50-80 Very respectable. You know not to get ripped
off by the convention center food scam.
You're a real veteran at this game. How much play
time do you put in? Can you throw one of those party tickets
>200 WTF are you reading this for? You probably
secretly run E3 by now and are invited to speak on all
the panels...Can I have a job?
serious reports are on their way so watch for the link.